i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
