these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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