small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
