now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Couch. On fire.
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