if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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