Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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