it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
