It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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