so explain again why im purple
no
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
