i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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