i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
