my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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