So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
