Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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