I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize