OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't think brook has ever known best
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize