My brain says no but my pants say off.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So squirting runs in the family.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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