You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize