I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
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My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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