Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
