i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
