..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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