Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
