I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
