you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
