Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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