I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
don't judge my taste in strippers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
