The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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