incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
