Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
