Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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