I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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