You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Non-Jews are for practice
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
