At least make sure they are 18
Why
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
