is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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