hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
