she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Every concussion has its silver lining
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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