wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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