Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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