i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
