omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He is an equal opportunity slut.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
