Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
