I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
