whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
