Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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