if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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