Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
