Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
