Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
is that a dick in a sweater?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
