First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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