P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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