everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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