Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize