I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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