My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
