just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
