eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
