you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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