summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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